I was just thinking how much I didn’t want to do my coursework, or any work for that matter, shortly before screaming out “WORK IS FOR SQUARES!!!”
It made me remember how I thought my name was kinda ‘square-like’. I don’t really know how to elaborate because this is just how my brain works… I think it’s because the ‘M’ kind of looks square shaped. I preferred a more smooth and ‘circle-like’ name, like Phoenix’s real name, for example. I told Phoenix this one time and she completely disagreed with me. She told me she hated her name and that my is ‘circle-like’ and her name is more ‘square-like’ which I just couldn’t understand.
Thinking back, even though I still like Phoenix’s name, I don’t think it’s be my first name of choice. Since I was younger, I liked the name ‘Stella’ a lot. I think it’s because it’s ‘circle-like’ and because it’s short, sweet, cute, and sounds like ‘stellar’ as in stars, because that was my favourite shape (not circles, believe it or not). I even considered naming my possible future daughter (or son if I was that desperate), and of course that was before I became a weeaboo and decided I wanted to give all my future children Japanese names (I especially like Akira and Daisuke- haven’t really thought of any girl names though).
Now-a-days, the name I like the most and wish I could go by… is actually a name I already have. It’s legally my middle name (and I won’t share it here <3) but I use it like a second first name. That’s because it’s my Nigerian name so I’ve usually called that name by family and family friends. I used to hate it because obviously it wasn’t a name I saw around a lot and it used to embarrass me when my parents called me that in public. I don’t know if my bias against my culture also played a role. Even so, I used it when I first played Animal Crossing for the first time, one of my all time favourite games. I even use it in Pocket Camp today and when I made my first Sim family in Sims 4
I grew to love the name when I realised what it meant. Not it’s literal meaning (which is actually related to Michelle, oddly enough). It was special, in a way. It was the name that the people closest to me (other than my best friends, for obvious reasons) called me. When people use that name, it feels really intimate. I think I’d actually like my future spouse to call me by that name.
My Nigerian name is also similar to ‘Stella’ in the way that it is short, sweet, cute, and ‘circle-like’. It’s also gender neutral which I appreciated a lot during my non-binary days (although it does feel feminine to me, heheh). It’s also Japanese! It’s a Japanese name! What a coincidence! It’s almost like I was born to be an otaku, haha!
I really do love my Nigerian (and apparently Japanese) name and I even told my mum she should’ve made it my first name. In fact, all of us have White/European/Whatever first names with the exception of my brother who has a Nigerian first name which can be shortened down to Kai which is also Japanese!
(I’ll make sure he gets into anime)
Anyway, that’s it for this post! It was only meant to be a short one. I kinda wanted to not share my name because I think I’ve already shared A LOT. I think even showing my first name and my FUCKING FACE, is enough. You guys don’t need to know who I am.
All you need to know is that I’m a little squirrel to writes stuff on the internet.
And my name…